{"id":5738,"date":"2015-07-28T07:00:42","date_gmt":"2015-07-28T12:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.senioradvisor.com\/blog\/?p=5738"},"modified":"2021-07-06T13:22:54","modified_gmt":"2021-07-06T18:22:54","slug":"how-to-tell-your-aging-parent-to-stop-driving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/d30braiqprupoq.cloudfront.net\/blog\/2015\/07\/how-to-tell-your-aging-parent-to-stop-driving\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Tell Your Aging Parent to Stop Driving"},"content":{"rendered":"

How to Tell Your Aging Parent to Stop Driving\"How<\/h1>\n

Nobody likes being the bearer of bad news. For a senior, being told you can\u2019t drive anymore definitely qualifies as the worst kind of news. But sometimes it\u2019s necessary. If your loved one has gotten increasingly sloppy with their driving skills<\/a><\/strong> and may be putting themselves and other drivers on the road at risk, you can\u2019t sit idly by.<\/p>\n

Making the decision that it\u2019s time to take the keys away is difficult enough, but communicating that to your loved one can be even harder. In most areas of the United States, driving is associated with independence. Taking that privilege away from someone will definitely be dramatic and call for a difficult discussion. Fortunately, there are a few ways you may be able to make it sting a little less.<\/p>\n

Start talking about it early.<\/h2>\n

If you can help it, don\u2019t just spring the news on them out of nowhere. Start talking about it when the warning signs are mild. Point out some issues you noticed with their driving, or bring up a recent diagnosis that could point to problems down the line, and talk about the fact that the day is coming when they should probably give up driving.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll both likely find the process easier if your loved one can ease into it. When you start to see a problem, consider asking them if they\u2019d agree not to drive in bad weather or at night, or to only drive short distances. If they get used to working within those limitations, the switch to no driving won\u2019t feel quite as dramatic when the time comes.<\/p>\n

Give them the chance to take the test.<\/h2>\n

It really is hard to know for sure when the time\u2019s come \u2013 for both you and them. If there\u2019s any doubt, or if your loved one is insistent that they\u2019re fine and needs some extra convincing, head down to the DMV. They can take a driving test and vision test and if they fail, the decision will be taken out of your hands and they\u2019ll have to accept the results. Be prepared that they might pass though, and if you still see them making dangerous driving mistakes, you may have an even more difficult discussion on your hands later.<\/p>\n

Explain the risks.<\/h2>\n

On a certain level, they know the risks, but they don\u2019t want to think about them. Discuss how a wreck could affect them physically, mentally, monetarily \u2013 and worse \u2013 morally, if someone else gets hurt. On top of all the more obvious consequences, if they cause damage to someone else\u2019s property or injury to another person, they could be sued and risk losing their hard-earned retirement savings.<\/p>\n

Emphasize that it\u2019s not just about them.<\/h2>\n

If they hurt themselves, that affects their family and loved ones. If they hurt another person, that affects their<\/i> family and loved ones. The consequences of a car accident can be extremely far reaching. This isn\u2019t a decision that can just be about what they want.<\/p>\n

Be stern \u2013 it\u2019s not a negotiation.<\/h2>\n

If you\u2019re at the point where you can still negotiate without much risk (as in our suggestions above about only daytime driving, etc.), then feel free. If you\u2019ve reached the point where you\u2019re worried your loved one\u2019s driving is too much of a risk for that, then you have to be stern. Feeling responsible for their anger today is better than feeling responsible for a wreck later.<\/p>\n

Provide alternatives.<\/h2>\n

Taking the car away won\u2019t just be a sacrifice for the senior, you and the rest of their loved ones will have to pick up some of the slack and start giving more rides. Make it clear that this isn\u2019t the end of their being able to make it to their weekly book club or get groceries, have a plan for attending to that stuff in advance. Loved ones should commit to regular trips \u2013 Suzy agrees to drive her to church every week, Joe is in charge of trips to the pharmacy, for example. And provide information on other alternatives your loved one can take advantage of:<\/p>\n