{"id":13739,"date":"2018-07-16T07:00:21","date_gmt":"2018-07-16T12:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.senioradvisor.com\/blog\/?p=13739"},"modified":"2018-07-13T12:13:03","modified_gmt":"2018-07-13T17:13:03","slug":"questions-adult-children-ask-about-senior-living","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/d30braiqprupoq.cloudfront.net\/blog\/2018\/07\/questions-adult-children-ask-about-senior-living\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Questions Adult Children Ask About Senior Living"},"content":{"rendered":"

5 Questions Adult Children Ask About Senior Living<\/h1>\n

Every year at about this time, I talk to many families who have become concerned about the changes they have noticed in their loved ones. They may be shocked by a seemingly rapid decline or they may come to the sudden realization that the changes they have noticed through the years have become too worrisome to ignore.\"5<\/p>\n

Sometimes the extent of the issues doesn\u2019t become apparent until one person has a medical crisis. Frequently it is the caregiving spouse who has the greatest medical issues because that individual has been quietly stressed for a very long time. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone.<\/p>\n

As a Senior Living Advisor for A Place for Mom, it\u2019s my job to help families navigate this road<\/a>. I can be their go-to person. Many times, they just need someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. It can be a very overwhelming time.<\/p>\n

Top 5 Questions Adult Children Ask About Senior Living<\/h2>\n

While each family\u2019s situation is unique, many people\u00a0have the same concerns<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Here are a few of the questions I often hear from families who are just beginning this complex journey:<\/p>\n

1. How do I know when it\u2019s time to think about senior care?<\/h3>\n

If you have any doubts about a particular behavior or you see something that feels like a red flag, it\u2019s a good time to reach out for professional help. Even seemingly small things such as\u00a0urinary tract infections<\/a>\u00a0can cause confusion and memory issues. If your loved one is showing behavior or personality changes or if they seem to be covering up memory issues, then a visit to their physician is warranted. Other telling clues including staying in bed, not wanting to get dressed and evidence of recent falls like bruises or cuts.<\/p>\n

I always tell families that it\u2019s better to be proactive than reactive, both with behavioral and health changes and with beginning to consider your options. Better to have the information in your back pocket in case of a sudden change in circumstances. Maybe you\u2019re not ready, but start to gather that information, have a file set aside and be prepared. You\u2019re helping yourself and you\u2019re helping your loved one.<\/p>\n

2. How do I broach the topic of senior care with my loved one?<\/h3>\n

Having the conversation about senior care<\/a>\u00a0can be difficult for everyone involved.<\/p>\n

Seniors are afraid of losing their independence; of being abandoned or feeling as if they are a non-functioning member of society. Many of them picture senior living as an institutional\u00a0setting where they will end up spending all day in a wheelchair watching television.<\/p>\n

This is not what assisted living or independent senior living is about. Once seniors and their families tour communities they are often delighted by the activities, dining and individual apartments. Today\u2019s senior living communities allow residents to come and go as they please, drive their own cars (as long as they are licensed drivers) and live their own lives. I often remind people that\u00a0assisted living helps older people preserve their independence<\/a>\u00a0by providing them with the activities and safe environment that minimizes the kind of accidents that often lead to a total loss of independence.<\/p>\n

I counsel adult children to be sensitive in their approach, to help their older loved ones overcome the fears they are going through and to clear up any misconceptions about senior care. This is where touring a community can help. Once seniors see for themselves that they aren\u2019t being \u201cwarehoused,\u201d they may become more willing to discuss long-term solutions.<\/p>\n

Many adult children become frustrated when their loved ones or parents refuse to accept help or don\u2019t understand that they need help. They may think they are managing just fine without it. A lack of awareness of impairment is common in stroke survivors or people who are suffering from dementia.\u00a0It can be challenging to reason with people who have some cognitive impairment<\/a>\u00a0or with people who are very negative or unwilling to compromise in any way.<\/p>\n

In cases such as these, I often suggest getting a physician involved. A senior may be more willing to listen to a perceived authority figure or expert than their child.<\/p>\n

3. How do I deal with the guilt?<\/h3>\n

If they have talked about senior living at all, many adult children have promised their parents that they will care for them or that they will never \u201cput them away.\u201d You may feel guilty when you realize you can no longer care for your parents because of their advanced dementia, physical disabilities or other circumstances. You may even feel like moving them to senior living means you are breaking your promise to them.<\/p>\n

I tell them that their main responsibility is to make sure your parents are being cared for and that their safety is more important than promises they made back in the day. Imagine this: What if you kept your promise and then your dad or mom suffered an injury that could have been prevented? You would feel guiltier than if you had honored their original request to keep them at home.<\/p>\n

4. What is senior living really like?<\/h3>\n

Senior living communities offer seniors the chance to stay active, to enjoy relationships and remain independent\u00a0<\/a>in a safe and stimulating environment. Many senior living communities provide restaurant-style dining so residents and their guests feel like they are going out to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They are blown away by the quality of the food and the choices offered.<\/p>\n

Every community\u2019s goal is to have as active a community as possible.<\/a>\u00a0Some communities include billiard rooms, coffee shops, ice cream shops, movie theaters, parlors, pools and pubs. There are also often art classes, exercise classes, book clubs, computer classes and yoga classes offered to residents. Transportation is provided for trips to local attractions, events and restaurants.<\/p>\n

The only way to know is to visit a senior living community. Chances are you\u2019ll be surprised.<\/p>\n

5. How long does it take someone to settle into senior living?<\/h3>\n

I find that within a month or so of moving to a community most seniors are having so much fun they don\u2019t want to leave. I had a recent email from a family that said \u201cMom is the happiest that I have seen her in probably a decade. She gets out of her room, socializes, laughs and participates in life! This is such a joy to see.\u201d<\/p>\n

Written by Melody Serdar<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

5 Questions Adult Children Ask About Senior Living Every year at about this time, I talk to many families who have become concerned about the changes they have noticed in their loved ones. They may be shocked by a seemingly rapid decline or they may come to the sudden realization that the changes they have noticed through the years have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7026,"featured_media":13742,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[200,2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-13739","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-families-caregivers","8":"category-senior-living"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n5 Questions Adult Children Ask About Senior Living<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Senior Living Advisor, Melody Serdar, shares the top questions adult children ask about senior living when just beginning their journey.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"5 Questions 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